Still sick, although I don't feel nearly as miserable as I did last week. I've decided that I'm getting a flu shot as soon as I'm (temporarily) well again. And maybe an allergy test to be on the safe side. So I can be like: this is me.

So apparently Jenna is in Korea now, which doesn't feel real to me at all. For now I'm going to act like this is some scurrilous rumor; she'll explain everything when I see her on Wednesday.

I'll skip the pseudo-eulogy I would usually give in this situation. Suffice it to say that I'll miss Jenna, and that it's weird (incomprehensible!) to think that I might not see her for a year.

We had a going-away party on Thursday, starting at the Dinkytowner and ending up at the Kitty Cat Klub. Excepting a long-running argument about the merits of Dinosects over Insectosaurs, there was little in the way of conversation that night. But there are many, many pictures.

I was too sick to drink much of anything, so I volunteered to be the designated driver. Jenna had planned on an "early night," but after all the Minnesotan goodbyes it was probably past 1 by the time I dropped off my last passenger and headed home. I slept in the next day; hurrah for flexible work schedules.

Whenever one of my friends goes on an adventure, I wonder if I shouldn't do something too. I mean, I'm young, unattached, self-reliant, usually in good health, and my finances aren't in any sort of trouble. This is the time to do it. And as a former tutor with a master's degree in English, I could presumably get a teaching job in one of any number of interesting places.

On the other hand, I like my current job, I'm presumably getting a raise this November, I like where I live, I have an enviable housemate situation, and I like Minnesota eight months out of the year. I'm also already fairly well-traveled, having spent a good chunk of time in Europe during college.

Also important: I hate starting over. I've had to completely bootstrap a new social life four or five times since high school, and that's not easy or fun. With the Lawrentians scattered to the four winds, most of my social capital is still concentrated here in Minnesota.

(Although that's less true with every passing month.)

So I don't know. I'm not sure whether it would be irresponsible to step off the quality assurance ladder or if it's something I need to do. I'm moderately happy, but am I in a rut, or is this the foundation for the life I want to have? The future is so vague and so malleable...

If I could go somewhere for three or four months this winter without upending my life or draining my finances, I think I would, but I'm not sure that's possible, or where I'd go, or exactly when.

Jenna's been telling everyone to come to Korea and make some money with her and Caitlin, but while the promise of adventure and some familiar faces is tempting, the year-long commitment is more than I could probably handle.

It seems like I'd be putting my life "on hold" for too long, if that even means anything. I don't know that it does — or maybe that's what I've been doing already? I'm well-aware that I've been afraid to take chances these last two years, but I suppose that's a topic for another post.

I do know that I'm jealous of Jenna for doing this instead of getting stuck at Comcast for another year. The status quo is the path of least resistance.

I'll be sticking here (for now?), but I wish her luck.