Ah, loan consolidation time. Lucky for me my FAFSA pin was right where I left it, on the freakin' moon.
Would-be freshmen take note: your FAFSA pin is way more important than you think it is. You know about the loan applications, but you'll also need that pin (technically PIN, but acronyms don't get much deader) to consolidate your loans, enter yourself in the weekly FAFSA lottery, and gain admission to your school's Spring Carnival.
That's right, cotton candy. So remember it. And always store in a cool, dry place.
Which is good advice, generally.
Speaking of high holy holidays, I'm picking up my as-yet unnamed car on Friday – I leave for B-town tomorrow night. Apparently various people and faceless corporate entities are proud, proud, of my credit rating, so this will be my first very-own car.
File that under The American Way, especially the pride.
Dan's Webpage
Because everyone loves a farce
Thursday, June 29
1:37 AM
Identity thieves, start your thefting!
Monday, June 26 2:43 AM
Crisis of Infinite Social Groups
Sunday, June 25 2:58 AM
There and back again
Wednesday, June 21 5:12 PM
Of atheists and dogs
Tuesday, June 20 8:35 PM
Videogames are often fun
Monday, June 19 12:33 AM
Five: Small Tragedies
Sunday, June 18 1:53 PM
Time whiled.
Wednesday, June 14 1:11 AM
New digs
Saturday, June 10 11:48 PM
Gradimacated
Thursday, June 8 9:16 PM
Packing, odds and ends
Wednesday, June 7 10:54 AM
Our Bold Hero vs. the Unstoppable March of Time
Tuesday, June 6 1:36 PM
Indeed, they know nothing of heroism
Friday, June 2 3:36 AM
A week abridged
Alles Wird Gut
Identity thieves, start your thefting!
Comments (4)
He speaks the truth. Applying to re-learn your FAFSA pin is like 4 million times harder than it should be, and I've done it at least three times this year.
Dan, you can always just memorize your PIN like some of us...
congratulations on the car! i guess this means i wont have to drag your ass around everywhere in my car jenna-style when i am home.
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Monday, June 26 2:43 AM
Crisis of Infinite Social Groups
As planned, Ben came over tonight to watch Josie and the Pussycats and play the obligatory product-placement drinking game with my housemates and special guest Barry.
Good times. And lots of booze.
As usual, I'm a bit nervous as I watch my Lawrence and Brainerd social groups collide. I've always been a compartmentalizer.
Good times. And lots of booze.
As usual, I'm a bit nervous as I watch my Lawrence and Brainerd social groups collide. I've always been a compartmentalizer.
You're so damned uptight. What's wrong with people meeting other people? What could possibly go wrong?
Well, some people just think differently than you, O Mighty Extrovert. But we're trying.
For me, it's all about maintaining a harmonious social tenor. Like many people, I do different things, and have different types of conversation, with different sets of friends. For example: Illuminati with Beth and Graham would not be fun, nor would I enjoy discussing politics with both of you together, or with you and noted paleoconservative Aaron Jubb for that matter, but those are key Graham-activities. Likewise, I have some friends who think sitting around and talking is great and some who might whine about how we should "do something." I'm generally good at predicting who would mesh with whom for me, but I'm not perfect at it so I get nervous when encountering new combinations.
This line of thinking also leads me to the conclusion (shocking, perhaps, for an extrovert) that having all my friends in the same room would not produce the maximum amount of fun.
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Sunday, June 25 2:58 AM
There and back again
So I went home for my cousin's wedding and came back without a car. I was just borrowing it, in any case, and now that my mom is back from her vacation it was time to give it back.
I hadn't thought that I'd miss having a car, but recently I've had a change of heart. Now I'm pretty sure I want to buy a used car: something small, reliable, and fuel-efficent. Not because I really need one to get around this summer, or so I can shuttle my friends from place to place, but because I need that freedom... the independence, the many options a car represents. With a car you can just go.
I had to relinquish the car, but I came back with a heavy suitcase full of seemingly everything this apartment is missing, a coincidence that has a lot to do with the new-to-me "semantic packing" technique I employed when leaving Chicago two weeks ago.
I hadn't thought that I'd miss having a car, but recently I've had a change of heart. Now I'm pretty sure I want to buy a used car: something small, reliable, and fuel-efficent. Not because I really need one to get around this summer, or so I can shuttle my friends from place to place, but because I need that freedom... the independence, the many options a car represents. With a car you can just go.
I had to relinquish the car, but I came back with a heavy suitcase full of seemingly everything this apartment is missing, a coincidence that has a lot to do with the new-to-me "semantic packing" technique I employed when leaving Chicago two weeks ago.
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Wednesday, June 21 5:12 PM
Of atheists and dogs
So the New York Review of Books has a review of Breaking the Spell: Religion as a Natural Phenomenon, a new book by Daniel Dennett, one of the main spokesmen behind the insufferable (and, thankfully, still marginal) "bright" movement.
Yes, that's just what atheists need, a label that makes us seem even more smug. Forget Orwell and talk of "mindshunts" – ultimately it's this same smugness that I find abrasive in coinages like "progressive" and "compassionate conservative."
I wouldn't recommend the magazine, the article, or the book being reviewed, but I was struck by an anecdote offered up by the author, Freeman Dyson (of Dyson sphere fame):
Language is a wonderful thing.
Yes, that's just what atheists need, a label that makes us seem even more smug. Forget Orwell and talk of "mindshunts" – ultimately it's this same smugness that I find abrasive in coinages like "progressive" and "compassionate conservative."
I wouldn't recommend the magazine, the article, or the book being reviewed, but I was struck by an anecdote offered up by the author, Freeman Dyson (of Dyson sphere fame):
To be workable, a solution does not need to be scientifically or philosophically consistent. When I was a boy in England long ago, people who traveled on trains with dogs had to pay for a dog ticket. The question arose whether I needed to buy a dog ticket when I was traveling with a tortoise. The conductor on the train gave me the answer: "Cats is dogs and rabbits is dogs but tortoises is insects and travel free according."
Language is a wonderful thing.
What the fuck is wrong with progressive? At least it's not a bald-faced lie like "compassionate conservative". How is it smug?
Hell, the name progressive is mostly an attempt to avoid the negative label of 'liberal' forced on us by right wing nuts who, appropriately enough this week are keeping down a vote on raising the minimum wage while repealing the estate tax.
I think it's entirely appropriate, the word progressive. It implies, correctly, that we want to move society forward to a better age while conservatives want to move it back to some sort of mythical 50s golden age.
As usual you make a very energetic argument, but I think that last sentence of yours prettymuch proves my point.
"Liberal" wasn't forced on so-called progressives, it was a label that (among other mutations) the right managed to perjorate so much that very few liberals (with rare exceptions like Wellstone) were comfortable with it. I'll be much more comfortable with it when "progressive" has settled in and become another shifting signifier.
"Conservative" has likewise become a negative term in certain circles, and I'd expect that process to continue much as it did for "liberal," with the lefty blogosphere standing in for the Republican-dominated talk radio circuit.
The real question is when and if the perjoration becomes so bad that conservatives attempt a similar rebranding. If that happens I'm sure the term they pick will be, on its face, as difficult to disagree with as "progressive."
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Tuesday, June 20 8:35 PM
Videogames are often fun
Last night's surprise activity: playing the Mariokart drinking game at Ben's. I'd only stopped by to pick up some videogames, but, well, my other drinking plans were destined to fall through anyways, and those Law and Order reruns would keep.
(In case I haven't told you: I'm very conflicted about Law and Order. I love the detective work, but I hate attorney James "Jack" McCoy. Unfortunately, I don't like the male leads on either of the two successful Law and Order spinoffs or that scary-looking woman on The Closer, so this is the best it gets. And no, I don't like CSI, which is for the most part a pretty crappy show.)
So. The MKDG (yes, I know: never again) is definitely my favorite, or second-favorite, drinking game. There are alternate worlds where it's all I do, geez what a drunk. Also, worlds where I can beat Ben outside of my home course, Dry Dry Desert.
I don't know why we made up a game where playing worse means that you drink more.
To review: get hit by a shell, and you earn a drink. fire off a blue shell, and you earn a drink. finish first and you can send one of your drinks. finish first without earning any drinks, and everyone else takes a shot. Simple. Naturally you're doing all this drinking after each race, so you can concentrate.
Even after four or five beers, only two things could shake my concentration: 1) meeting Ben's sister, whose unnerving life-size cardboard replica I'd seen several times before, and 2) Ben's continued insinuations that we were in Edina.
Afterwards we watched My Name is Earl, the funniest live-action show on television. Everyone knows about it, but I keep thinking it's my little secret.
The games I borrowed don't seem to work on my computer, but tonight Jenna and I finally started a co-op game of X-Men Legends 2, which plot-wise has almost nothing to do with X-Men Legends. It's fun, but not as much of a bonding experience as you'd think, largely because we spend most of our time trying to figure out what's going on and where we should go.
(In case I haven't told you: I'm very conflicted about Law and Order. I love the detective work, but I hate attorney James "Jack" McCoy. Unfortunately, I don't like the male leads on either of the two successful Law and Order spinoffs or that scary-looking woman on The Closer, so this is the best it gets. And no, I don't like CSI, which is for the most part a pretty crappy show.)
So. The MKDG (yes, I know: never again) is definitely my favorite, or second-favorite, drinking game. There are alternate worlds where it's all I do, geez what a drunk. Also, worlds where I can beat Ben outside of my home course, Dry Dry Desert.
I don't know why we made up a game where playing worse means that you drink more.
To review: get hit by a shell, and you earn a drink. fire off a blue shell, and you earn a drink. finish first and you can send one of your drinks. finish first without earning any drinks, and everyone else takes a shot. Simple. Naturally you're doing all this drinking after each race, so you can concentrate.
Even after four or five beers, only two things could shake my concentration: 1) meeting Ben's sister, whose unnerving life-size cardboard replica I'd seen several times before, and 2) Ben's continued insinuations that we were in Edina.
Afterwards we watched My Name is Earl, the funniest live-action show on television. Everyone knows about it, but I keep thinking it's my little secret.
The games I borrowed don't seem to work on my computer, but tonight Jenna and I finally started a co-op game of X-Men Legends 2, which plot-wise has almost nothing to do with X-Men Legends. It's fun, but not as much of a bonding experience as you'd think, largely because we spend most of our time trying to figure out what's going on and where we should go.
Monday, June 19 12:33 AM
Five: Small Tragedies
"Five" is a new weekly feature, a series of lists that implicitly say something important about Our Bold Hero. This week: five bad situations that, while not necessarily a big deal, loom large in my world.
1. Scientists in the Netherlands have magnetically levitated hazelnuts, frogs, and a hamster named Tisha, but I can't find any pictures. The Internet still contains many unexpected dead ends, and I continue to wander into them.
2. Various federal policies effectively double the price I pay for butter and sugar. So I bake less at home, and commercial products are made with significantly-less-tasty substitutes.
3. The narrative arcs of my favorite television shows will continue to be (artificially) influenced by the various sweeps weeks. A while ago, Wired wrote about 24/7 "people meters," which seem to have many advantages, but I haven't heard a peep about this technology for at least a year.
4. Some newspapers are still evaluating prospective copy editors in what I feel to be a too conservative, decidedly pre-Internet way. It seems unfair, but I'm still an outsider, and my commentary on the subject – if it's gotten through at all – hasn't changed any minds.
5. I'm finally excited about another game: Spore. It looks incredible. But it'll be almost a year before I can get my hands on a copy.
1. Scientists in the Netherlands have magnetically levitated hazelnuts, frogs, and a hamster named Tisha, but I can't find any pictures. The Internet still contains many unexpected dead ends, and I continue to wander into them.
2. Various federal policies effectively double the price I pay for butter and sugar. So I bake less at home, and commercial products are made with significantly-less-tasty substitutes.
3. The narrative arcs of my favorite television shows will continue to be (artificially) influenced by the various sweeps weeks. A while ago, Wired wrote about 24/7 "people meters," which seem to have many advantages, but I haven't heard a peep about this technology for at least a year.
4. Some newspapers are still evaluating prospective copy editors in what I feel to be a too conservative, decidedly pre-Internet way. It seems unfair, but I'm still an outsider, and my commentary on the subject – if it's gotten through at all – hasn't changed any minds.
5. I'm finally excited about another game: Spore. It looks incredible. But it'll be almost a year before I can get my hands on a copy.
I was considering starting a weekly feature because of the massive amounts of free time at my disposal. After watching Highlander Saturday night, I thought about writing a bad sci-fi/fantasy movie review every week. Maybe I'll still do it, I do have lots of bad sci-fi movies at my fingertips.
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Sunday, June 18 1:53 PM
Time whiled.
Watched Syriana, a movie I'll charitably dismiss as "challenging," last night with Jess and Markie. It's definitely not a good party movie, in any case.
Though of all the people in the room, I was probably the farthest away from Syriana's politics, I'm the only one who managed to watch the whole thing – Jess left, Markie fell asleep – and I only caught about half a gist.
This may have had something to do with all the drinking, I suppose; we'd taken a road trip to the legendary Big Top liquor store earlier that day. For the next few months, this is the official apartment of the girlie drink.
Yesterday night's break, one of many, was a welcome respite from cover letter bootcamp. I know people say that you should think of applying to jobs as a full-time job in-and-of itself, but for me it has to be part-time or I will go crazy. There are only so many jobs I'm really interested in when the scope is this long-term.
Other breaks have been taken up by The 4400 (pronounced "the forty-four hundred"), the newest show in a long line of promising but ultimately mediocre programs I nonetheless find myself addicted to.
See also: the new Battlestar Galactica, Space: Above and Beyond, The Dead Zone, Invasion, The Invaders, The Prisoner... basically, I'm a sucker. Though in the case of The 4400, I have guarded hopes for the new season. My retooling-sense is tingling.
Priority: get a fulfilling job, or at the very least, a great videogame.
Though of all the people in the room, I was probably the farthest away from Syriana's politics, I'm the only one who managed to watch the whole thing – Jess left, Markie fell asleep – and I only caught about half a gist.
This may have had something to do with all the drinking, I suppose; we'd taken a road trip to the legendary Big Top liquor store earlier that day. For the next few months, this is the official apartment of the girlie drink.
Yesterday night's break, one of many, was a welcome respite from cover letter bootcamp. I know people say that you should think of applying to jobs as a full-time job in-and-of itself, but for me it has to be part-time or I will go crazy. There are only so many jobs I'm really interested in when the scope is this long-term.
Other breaks have been taken up by The 4400 (pronounced "the forty-four hundred"), the newest show in a long line of promising but ultimately mediocre programs I nonetheless find myself addicted to.
See also: the new Battlestar Galactica, Space: Above and Beyond, The Dead Zone, Invasion, The Invaders, The Prisoner... basically, I'm a sucker. Though in the case of The 4400, I have guarded hopes for the new season. My retooling-sense is tingling.
Priority: get a fulfilling job, or at the very least, a great videogame.
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Wednesday, June 14 1:11 AM
New digs
Moved in, albeit not unpacked. I confess that I don't know what to call my new apartment and I can't think of a clever name.
Activities so far: cookout in the park. Somewhere there's a bunch of pictures of us jumping and looking off in different directions.
My computer can't access the Internet here – I left a crucial box of electronics at home – so online communication will be limited for a while.
Activities so far: cookout in the park. Somewhere there's a bunch of pictures of us jumping and looking off in different directions.
My computer can't access the Internet here – I left a crucial box of electronics at home – so online communication will be limited for a while.
Now where exactly do you live? I'm here now and already bored.
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Saturday, June 10 11:48 PM
Gradimacated
So I graduated. I realize now – sorry, Lawrentians – that I probably could have figured out a way to get up there for tonight, etc., but it's too late, I'm already in B-town. Congrats to all of you, or at least those of you I like, and be sure to remember I exist if you have a moment.
The ceremony was blarg. There were no hoods or colors for anyone except the honorary degree recipients, the speaker was some professor who's apparently giving the same "UChicago is useful" speech at all four commencements, and when I got up one of those shiftless Ph.D. students swiped my refreshing Sprite. Never trust a man in a velvet outfit.
Basically, I realized today that the LU commencement ceremony is nothing short of spectacular in comparison.
The coolest part of the UChicago program was our long procession to the quad, accompanied by bagpipe music. Of course, even here, Lawrence's approach is superior: you walk through a congratulatory gauntlet of professors to get to your seat.
As you can probably guess, I never did end up appreciating the solemnity of the occasion. As I tried to explain to my dad – the only family member who could make it – the day I turned in the thesis was the Big Day for me. This was more of a formality, the reason I'm not hanging around here for another week.
I felt odd seeing so many people, everyone from MAPH faculty to casual acquaintances to the Strategist (who may have earned the same shorthand descriptor I often used to explain Graham while at Lawrence), and knowing not only that I probably won't see them again, but also that there'll be no Big Goodbyes.
Mere fondness doesn't justify more than a cursory wave or a last handshake, and then, blip, this person is out of my life. (Albeit not my RSS reader.)
And with people like the Strategist, people who I actually hung out with and had meaningful conversations with – what's that movie where the guy is going away for ever and they pretend like he's just going to the store? That was a bad plan.
Yet this all felt appropriate. Maybe I'm just regretting my own failed or insufficient social efforts?
About a year ago I tried to devise a mental list of potential friendships, lost. My top five favorite people I never really got to know: depressing.
Or it might not be that at all. This wasn't a bad year. I was happy there, content. I went out, had fun, studied, learned new and useful things, and wrote a thesis I'm still somewhat proud of. Maybe, all the excitement of the Cities notwithstanding, I'm really feeling nervous about leaving Chicago and starting over again, albeit not from scratch.
My apartment was my home. Who else, after all, cooked all those meals, or decorated the walls for once, or decided that in this house, we could leave the toaster plugged in? Setting up in a new place and a new city is always an onerous task, no matter how ridiculously dull the Chicago suburb you're leaving.
Mainly it sucks because of the moving process, but it's partially the knowledge that I'm leaving the familiar sociol geography of a place behind. In this case, the Maph landscape, formed in social hours and get-togethers elsewhere, is not only irrelevant but destroyed.
I played my part in the deterraforming this morning. It took my dad and I a few hours to load everything into his truck and a rented trailer... my connection to Chicago is for the most part dissolved.
Ten hours later, I'm home. It's strange to have nothing to do, no looming tests or term papers, no projects or goals except those I set for myself. There's little I can predict, even – I only know where I'm living through August.
This is the vast expanse beyond school, the long-awaited Future. And finally I understand what Graham's mom meant when she observed that, when you think about it, we're living in the future right now.
The ceremony was blarg. There were no hoods or colors for anyone except the honorary degree recipients, the speaker was some professor who's apparently giving the same "UChicago is useful" speech at all four commencements, and when I got up one of those shiftless Ph.D. students swiped my refreshing Sprite. Never trust a man in a velvet outfit.
Basically, I realized today that the LU commencement ceremony is nothing short of spectacular in comparison.
The coolest part of the UChicago program was our long procession to the quad, accompanied by bagpipe music. Of course, even here, Lawrence's approach is superior: you walk through a congratulatory gauntlet of professors to get to your seat.
As you can probably guess, I never did end up appreciating the solemnity of the occasion. As I tried to explain to my dad – the only family member who could make it – the day I turned in the thesis was the Big Day for me. This was more of a formality, the reason I'm not hanging around here for another week.
I felt odd seeing so many people, everyone from MAPH faculty to casual acquaintances to the Strategist (who may have earned the same shorthand descriptor I often used to explain Graham while at Lawrence), and knowing not only that I probably won't see them again, but also that there'll be no Big Goodbyes.
Mere fondness doesn't justify more than a cursory wave or a last handshake, and then, blip, this person is out of my life. (Albeit not my RSS reader.)
And with people like the Strategist, people who I actually hung out with and had meaningful conversations with – what's that movie where the guy is going away for ever and they pretend like he's just going to the store? That was a bad plan.
Yet this all felt appropriate. Maybe I'm just regretting my own failed or insufficient social efforts?
About a year ago I tried to devise a mental list of potential friendships, lost. My top five favorite people I never really got to know: depressing.
Or it might not be that at all. This wasn't a bad year. I was happy there, content. I went out, had fun, studied, learned new and useful things, and wrote a thesis I'm still somewhat proud of. Maybe, all the excitement of the Cities notwithstanding, I'm really feeling nervous about leaving Chicago and starting over again, albeit not from scratch.
My apartment was my home. Who else, after all, cooked all those meals, or decorated the walls for once, or decided that in this house, we could leave the toaster plugged in? Setting up in a new place and a new city is always an onerous task, no matter how ridiculously dull the Chicago suburb you're leaving.
Mainly it sucks because of the moving process, but it's partially the knowledge that I'm leaving the familiar sociol geography of a place behind. In this case, the Maph landscape, formed in social hours and get-togethers elsewhere, is not only irrelevant but destroyed.
I played my part in the deterraforming this morning. It took my dad and I a few hours to load everything into his truck and a rented trailer... my connection to Chicago is for the most part dissolved.
Ten hours later, I'm home. It's strange to have nothing to do, no looming tests or term papers, no projects or goals except those I set for myself. There's little I can predict, even – I only know where I'm living through August.
This is the vast expanse beyond school, the long-awaited Future. And finally I understand what Graham's mom meant when she observed that, when you think about it, we're living in the future right now.
Awww, Dan, I'm touched. Here's to a bright future of mutual cyber-stalking! (Although that sort of sounds creepier than I meant it to be.)
Congratumalations on the gradumutation.
In other news, I've dislocated my knee while succumbing to world cup fever...
Thursday, June 8 9:16 PM
Packing, odds and ends
Hmm. Packing. Where did I put that null-void pocket? Seriously, I don't know how I got all this stuff here, and I really don't know how to get it out.
Maybe... garbage bags? But am I that guy?
Just got another call from Hero Student Loans: the woman was obviously blindsided when I told her I wasn't interested, stop calling. Of course, I told the last guy that too, but a company this incompetent doesn't think to tell its telemarketers anything. They're victims too. Irritating victims.
I walked around campus today, delivering the official newspaper for the last time. I seem to be the only white guy doing this kind of work at UChicago (cough), but I think today I was finally accepted as an equal in the fight against the Man:
Old black guy: "You on distribution, brother?"
Our Bold Hero: "Oh yeah."
Old black guy: "Mmmmm-hm."
You'd think all this walking around campus a day before I graduate would make me whistful, but I don't really feel that way. I was only here for a year, I didn't put down any roots... I dunno. Tomorrow lacks enormity for me.
I felt the same way before I got my driver's license, actually, though that feeling changed the first time I went on a long drive. The actual graduation ceremony could effect the same kind of change, but I wouldn't bet on it.
It sounds terrible, but do you know what I look forward to, more than receiving that diploma? Making real people money. Making a contribution to the real world.
Odd (and not at all fun) fact: according to my sources, we will receive neither hood nor colored bars tomorrow. It's unusual.
Maybe... garbage bags? But am I that guy?
Just got another call from Hero Student Loans: the woman was obviously blindsided when I told her I wasn't interested, stop calling. Of course, I told the last guy that too, but a company this incompetent doesn't think to tell its telemarketers anything. They're victims too. Irritating victims.
I walked around campus today, delivering the official newspaper for the last time. I seem to be the only white guy doing this kind of work at UChicago (cough), but I think today I was finally accepted as an equal in the fight against the Man:
Old black guy: "You on distribution, brother?"
Our Bold Hero: "Oh yeah."
Old black guy: "Mmmmm-hm."
You'd think all this walking around campus a day before I graduate would make me whistful, but I don't really feel that way. I was only here for a year, I didn't put down any roots... I dunno. Tomorrow lacks enormity for me.
I felt the same way before I got my driver's license, actually, though that feeling changed the first time I went on a long drive. The actual graduation ceremony could effect the same kind of change, but I wouldn't bet on it.
It sounds terrible, but do you know what I look forward to, more than receiving that diploma? Making real people money. Making a contribution to the real world.
Odd (and not at all fun) fact: according to my sources, we will receive neither hood nor colored bars tomorrow. It's unusual.
That doesn't sound terrible. I've thought similar thoughts too many times to count this past year.
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Wednesday, June 7 10:54 AM
Our Bold Hero vs. the Unstoppable March of Time
The week, and with it my time in Chicago, seems to be ending quite rapidly. Today is my last day working at the school, once I actually get out the door (setting my own hours: disaster) and last night was the final MAPH social hour. Drinks, stiff and expensive, at the Checkerboard Lounge a few blocks from me.
Most of the people I knew flaked, but thank the Zombie-God for Joel. Well, and at this point I'm acquainted with almost everyone in the program.
I tried to avoid being all "Dan of the Blogs," but last night everyone seemed to be revealing some fascinating store of hidden knowledge. Apparently two hours isn't a long drive in Florida, custom tuxedos should never have notched collars, and Schlitz switched back to its original recipe in 2000. Needless to say, I also engaged in a lengthy discussion of how best to survive a zombie attack. We need a better term for hidden expertise – "trotting out your show rats" captures the situation perfectly, but that Frasier allusion is a lost cause.
The plan right now is to move everything to Brainerd, stay for a day or two, and drive down to the Cities with the stuff I'll need to live in Jenna and Markie's apartment. I'll wave my hands in the air one last time as I note that this is all what will probably, most likely, almost definitely happen, and that one phone call could change the situation drastically.
This may be why I'm so reluctant to leave the apartment these days.
That sounds whinier than I mean it to be. I'm sure I can find a job in the Cities, albeit maybe not in my field, and after living in Chicago, rent for this sublet looks cheap cheap cheap. Thankfully Jenna lacked the malice and/or wherewithal necessary to take advantage when naming her price.
I just dislike this waiting, knowing that after I send out the apps there's not much more I can do to influence my future. I've been reading more copy-editing blogs and I'm anxious to get back in the game.
Most of the people I knew flaked, but thank the Zombie-God for Joel. Well, and at this point I'm acquainted with almost everyone in the program.
I tried to avoid being all "Dan of the Blogs," but last night everyone seemed to be revealing some fascinating store of hidden knowledge. Apparently two hours isn't a long drive in Florida, custom tuxedos should never have notched collars, and Schlitz switched back to its original recipe in 2000. Needless to say, I also engaged in a lengthy discussion of how best to survive a zombie attack. We need a better term for hidden expertise – "trotting out your show rats" captures the situation perfectly, but that Frasier allusion is a lost cause.
The plan right now is to move everything to Brainerd, stay for a day or two, and drive down to the Cities with the stuff I'll need to live in Jenna and Markie's apartment. I'll wave my hands in the air one last time as I note that this is all what will probably, most likely, almost definitely happen, and that one phone call could change the situation drastically.
This may be why I'm so reluctant to leave the apartment these days.
That sounds whinier than I mean it to be. I'm sure I can find a job in the Cities, albeit maybe not in my field, and after living in Chicago, rent for this sublet looks cheap cheap cheap. Thankfully Jenna lacked the malice and/or wherewithal necessary to take advantage when naming her price.
I just dislike this waiting, knowing that after I send out the apps there's not much more I can do to influence my future. I've been reading more copy-editing blogs and I'm anxious to get back in the game.
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Tuesday, June 6 1:36 PM
Indeed, they know nothing of heroism
Our Bold Hero: "I'm sorry, I'm not interested."
Telemarketer: "Not- what are you talking about? We've already sent you a packet!"
Our Bold Hero: "Yeah. I know. And I looked at that packet and decided that your company wasn't the best choice."
Telemarketer: "But-"
Our Bold Hero: "Sorry."
And so I take my revenge, a tiny, petty revenge, after jerking them around for a while. That guy sounded a bit higher up on the food chain than the grunts I'm used to, which would explain his incredulity.
I hope I've wasted as many of your resources as possible, Hero Student Loans.
I think it was when they flat-out told me I had to give them my social in order to get an informational packet, or maybe it was after the third time a call from Hero Student Loans woke me up in the morning — but at some point I decided there was no way a company this irritating would ever get my business.
Hero Student Loans has probably called me seven or eight times, at this point. The first time they called, I said I didn't need the spiel, but I am looking for a loan consolidation service and could you just give me your web address. When the time of reckoning comes, that first telemarketer will be spared.
It turns out that any sign of interest was foolish, because they called again for my address, so they could send me a packet that duplicates the information on their website. I'd told them that I wouldn't be home for weeks, but that they should still send the info there to be sure I got it, yet no matter how many times I said this, they never passed that message to the next telemarketer. So the friendly reminders kept coming.
Sometimes they called and didn't say who they were right away, and I thought they were some other company but when I asked for a website they said herostudentloans. I may have snapped at a telemarketer at some point.
This is not normal. I've come to expect one or two telemarketer calls a week, and there have been a few other student loan consolidation services in the mix. None of these companies, however, has been so consistently rude and ignorant. None of them even called me a second time after I asked for a web address. None of them has ever asked for my social on the phone.
Hero Student Loans was different, in a bad way. So I decided to spite them, and though there was very little I could do to harm such a big company, now I can at least say I tried.
Hopefully they'll call again, because I think I could have strung them along for a few weeks more. I had almost beaten X-Men: Legends and I wasn't thinking.
Also, I haven't tried patronizing the telemarketers yet, mainly because I'm not sure I could. I have the time and patience for spite, but I'm not sure I have what it takes to fake a near-sale on the phone.
In case anyone is still looking for a loan consolidation service, I'd like to recommend IDAPP. They came to the U and gave an informational presentation that was useful no matter which service I use; they even recommended some respectable competitors in case we decide not to go with IDAPP.
Hero Student Loans was not mentioned, but services of its ilk were alluded to.
Telemarketer: "Not- what are you talking about? We've already sent you a packet!"
Our Bold Hero: "Yeah. I know. And I looked at that packet and decided that your company wasn't the best choice."
Telemarketer: "But-"
Our Bold Hero: "Sorry."
And so I take my revenge, a tiny, petty revenge, after jerking them around for a while. That guy sounded a bit higher up on the food chain than the grunts I'm used to, which would explain his incredulity.
I hope I've wasted as many of your resources as possible, Hero Student Loans.
I think it was when they flat-out told me I had to give them my social in order to get an informational packet, or maybe it was after the third time a call from Hero Student Loans woke me up in the morning — but at some point I decided there was no way a company this irritating would ever get my business.
Hero Student Loans has probably called me seven or eight times, at this point. The first time they called, I said I didn't need the spiel, but I am looking for a loan consolidation service and could you just give me your web address. When the time of reckoning comes, that first telemarketer will be spared.
It turns out that any sign of interest was foolish, because they called again for my address, so they could send me a packet that duplicates the information on their website. I'd told them that I wouldn't be home for weeks, but that they should still send the info there to be sure I got it, yet no matter how many times I said this, they never passed that message to the next telemarketer. So the friendly reminders kept coming.
Sometimes they called and didn't say who they were right away, and I thought they were some other company but when I asked for a website they said herostudentloans. I may have snapped at a telemarketer at some point.
This is not normal. I've come to expect one or two telemarketer calls a week, and there have been a few other student loan consolidation services in the mix. None of these companies, however, has been so consistently rude and ignorant. None of them even called me a second time after I asked for a web address. None of them has ever asked for my social on the phone.
Hero Student Loans was different, in a bad way. So I decided to spite them, and though there was very little I could do to harm such a big company, now I can at least say I tried.
Hopefully they'll call again, because I think I could have strung them along for a few weeks more. I had almost beaten X-Men: Legends and I wasn't thinking.
Also, I haven't tried patronizing the telemarketers yet, mainly because I'm not sure I could. I have the time and patience for spite, but I'm not sure I have what it takes to fake a near-sale on the phone.
In case anyone is still looking for a loan consolidation service, I'd like to recommend IDAPP. They came to the U and gave an informational presentation that was useful no matter which service I use; they even recommended some respectable competitors in case we decide not to go with IDAPP.
Hero Student Loans was not mentioned, but services of its ilk were alluded to.
I would like to submit a complaint about HERO student loans for unethical marketing practices. I received a letter from them thanking for applying for a federal student loan consolidation even though and have never heard of them before and asking me to contact them to resolve the problem with "my" application.
Any ideas where I can submit a complaint. This may not be outright illegal but it is deceptive and also raises privacy concerns.
I can take it one step further. As one of the sorry saps who actually did his consolidation with HERO. My initial application was submitted June 2006. It is now Aug 2007 and my consolidation loan is still not complete. What is the hold up you ask? I am waiting on HERO to send a simple fax to my lender so that they can complete the process. This final stage has been held up now for 4 months. Apparently it takes a member of the upper echelon of the HERO bureaucracy who actually has the technical skills and ability to operate a fax in order to finalize the process. In the meantime my credit has been damaged, graduation postponed, and a substantial amount of hair lost forever. THERE ARE DOZENS IF NOT HUNDREDS OF CHOICES OUT THERE...DO NOT USE HERO UNLESS YOU WANT TO COMPLICATE YOUR LIFE ON A SCALE PREVIOUSLY UNIMAGINED.
Hey, I randomly found your blog on Google while searching for news on HERO.
See, I'm a former employee; I was initially on the front end as a low level agent and later switched over to the back end, doing data entry and NSLDS lookups.
First off I just want to say, if I ever called you, I am SO sorry. I know what lying douchebags my co-workers were (I was old at the ripe age of 25, most of them were snot-nosed 19 year olds). They trained us heavily in the art of manipulation and it was all about scare tactics and getting the social. They made us outright lie to people. When I was on the phones I was in API, so I was one of those awful people who demanded your social in order to get the packets...we were encouraged to lie and play up our supposed connection to the DoE in order to make people feel secure about giving up socials. And once we got those socials? Well, I will tell you that once I had to move to a different cube because my computer was busted, and inside the drawer of the new one were sheets with dozens and dozens of socials. I lost count at 30 sheets. Being responsible I handed them to my supe, who greeted me with indifference.
HERO is located in Tempe, AZ, home to many call centers, and it's pretty incestous; at the one I'm working at now, there are 4 other ex-HERO employees. All you need to know about HERO is that a good chunk of my co-workers (and a lot of the supes) there used to work for the big MCI call center in town until they went out of business. If you know anything at all about MCI and the way they did business, HERO's antics should be a lot more explainable now.
The back end was even more incompetent. My job in data entry consisted of qualifying people for consolidation. Management constantly changed the rules on us and didn't seem to know themselves wtf they were doing half the time. Turnaround time was atrocious. And they treated employees even worse than the customers. Pretty much no one on the phones had insurance, due to the shifty bullshit they pulled with shift scheduling. In data entry they constantly sent us home (we were hourly) around the holidays because there was literally nothing for us to do. At one point they had us sorting through returned packets. When I finally had enough and quit, the Department of Education was investigating them. This was shortly before the new rules came out restricting NSLDS access to schools and students. I have no doubt HERO's bullshit was a big factor in that rule change.
As penance, I'd like to offer the following bit of good news: thanks to the new DoE regulations and the crackdowns on shady consolidation outfits like HERO, HERO is now out of business. MSA Solutions, the evil telemarketing company that started HERO, has even put a for lease sign on their building. See, they stupidly put all their eggs in one basket and cancelled all the outsourced accounts they had from Toyota, Countrywide, etc once they saw how much many they could make in the student loan consolidation racket and poured everything they had into HERO. They lost a metric fuckton of money this peak season. I call it karma.
Unfortunately I am also one of the sapps that consolidated with HERO. I wasn't told that my six month grace period would be revoked if I consolidated, so I called HERO to explain it to me......and I called......and called......and called. Today was AT LEAST my 10th call to this company and all I get is a answering machine or a message that says I have called code ABC123 whatever. The point is this company SUCKS!!!!!!!! How can you be a national company and have no one to pick up the phone. I'm starting to believe I've been had. When you consolidate your student loans do not EVER EVER EVER EVER use HERO, please for my sake. No one should have to go through this.
Thank you so much for the info on HERO. I've been waiting to consolidate my loan with them and have not been able to get ahold of them no mater what I 've tried. As a result, I have my original lender wanting me to pay them now since the grace period is over.
Does anyone have any ideas on who is a good company to consolidate with?
I would like to let anyone who has deal with this company and are unhappy that they should file a complaint with the Ombudsmans office in Washington DC. This is the agency that oversees companies that are not compliant. Their phone number is 877-557-2575. they will assign a casworker to you. Also you can file a complaint with the office of the Inspector General in Washington the best way to reach them is by email oig.hotline@ed.gov Hope this helps all of you.
AS a former employee of HERO/MSA Solutions, I was the Dialer Manager at the company. I was tasked with managing the team that ran the dialers that called all of the people for the consolidations.
I had been with them for almost 4 years. I never liked teir tactics which were simply dial the numbers over and over and over again.
they did finally close up shop and move to a new location.. finding any telephone number for them at this point is not easy. to date I have not been paid my 4 weeks of severance pay that I have a signed agreement for. nor have I received any w-2 information so I can actually file my taxes.
I was hired as a disabled worker..The rules snd regulations for there employees was worse than they way they treated customers..I was constantlly harrassed that i was not working fast enough even though they were aware that my disability..They paid us for only the time we were actually on the phone..If we needed to use the restroom we had 5 minutes to return and even if you were one second over due you were docked..so even if you were there 8 hours aday or more you would get paid for less than 8 hours..Since I couldnt walk very fast or had to use my wheelchair I rarely got a full pay check.. What made it worse is they had me seat almost the full lenghth of the building so had a long distance to go..There also was many times that I was forced to go farther as the restroom on the first floor was closed for cleaning in the middle of the day where i had togo farther to take an elevator to the 2cd floor..and docked more time..they hired more people than they had available spots for disabled workers to park...I complained about it many times for months..only saying they couldnt do anything about it..They could care less about needs of the disabled..The needs of the abled workers..as well as there customers and non customers...I worked there for 2 yrs till they fired me while I was legally on medical leave under the federal family medical leave act..By the way I was diagnosed with Parkinsons disease and it was funny how I was fired just2 months after diagnosed..which they were aware of my illness..
i also use to work at msa and i quit a month in they were bullshit, but now i'm trying to get my w-2 and i can't get a hold of them and i need my w-2s if anyone knows what to do or how to get a hold of them please let me know thanks.
I also worked for that crappy compamy. I am ashamed to even put it on my resume. When I did though I would get people and companies to call me for other telemarketing jobs and I refuse to take them. MSA made me feel horrible forcing people to give me their SSN's. Lying to parents and grandparents it was sick.
hera/msa solutions treated there workers well not my fault you cant do your job
To the person that left the comment on 5/1/08....I never said that I was treated unfairly by all people...matter of fact most treated me well..I was making the point that that HERO/MSA broke alot of labor rules that including labor laws for discrimination against disabled workers..I'm the one who experienced time after time that I was harrassed for not working fast enough between calls..which was caused by my illness and disability..Being ill and working at the same time was very difficult but I always gave 110% of what i had to give...Sressing someone out contiually that is ill will also effect there performance as well..To the person who made the comment that I couldnt do my job...If that were the case I wouldnt have been employed for 2 years by msa..Iwas only laid off when everyone else was..And to make another point I was on medical leave when this happened an no one had the decentcy to cal me to let me know what happened with the layoffs...I only found out a week later when I called in to say I was going to try and come back to work the following week..Another thing how dare you say that they tret them well when your in a wheelchair and told that you would have to park a far ways away from the front door that there are more disabled people working there then handicap parking spaces that were available..that I was told there was nothing that could be done..You stupid ignorant individual that has made that comment...SHAME ON YOU!!!! You probably know who I am..Since I'm not ashamed to say that I suffer from PARKINSONS DISEASE and can not work any longer..collecting social security disability rhe rest of my life..And another thing if I was that bad...why when I came back after a month off and went through a retraining refresher class with new employees did when the vice president of dialers come into the class introducing himself,tell the class I was one of the best dialers MSA had...Unless you have the whole story dont make stupid remarks..I left some very good friends behind not being able to say good bye which included management and supervisoral personnel..To that person that made that comment to me call me or anyone else who wants to get in touch with me..MY NAME IS STEVE STEINER AT 480-655-6525
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Friday, June 2 3:36 AM
A week abridged
I wrote a long post about the past week. I didn't lose it because my computer crashed or something, I still have it right here, but for some reason I don't like this post, so you will never see it.
It doesn't give too much away, it isn't (very) boring or (very) predictable, it's just, well, I can write an interesting summary of an entire week but I find the thought of detailing my movements over the past seven days distasteful.
So here are the five most important things about the past week, in no particular order:
1. Megabus is great. If you're using Greyhound to go between major cities, stop. I've tried that, and it sucks. Some of the people who ride Megabus are less great. They travel with babies too young to sleep through the night, they fall asleep with their headphones blaring, and one guy made a cell phone call from the stall in the bathroom when we stopped. You'll find these people on the Greyhound too, I assure you. Meanwhile, Jenna and I felt bad for whispering when people were trying to sleep. This proves my theory that most Chicagoans are only as nice as they have to be.
2. Though it meant missing our program's booze cruise, I feel like going home for the grad party was a good decision. There was cake, and a keg of delicious 1919 rootbeer. I even played some bocce ball.
3. More importantly, there were a bunch of people I see only very rarely these days. I haven't talked to my old German teacher and debate coach Herr P in years — Josh and his friends seem to have some other nickname for him, but whatever it is it's super-lame — and I felt like I needed to check in with some members of Adam's family about this wedding thing. Also, I usually only see my godchild (I know! An atheist with a godchild — it hadn't hit me before!) and my other favorite cousin on holidays, so I spent a fair amount of time talking to that family.
4. Matt's g/f Kittel drove me back to the Cities, and we had what shall henceforth be referred to as the Long Conversation. Shattering our previous one-on-one conversation record by three hours.
5. I visited Jenna, then Jenna visited me. We moved some curbside furniture into Markie and Jenna's apartment, which was exciting because it might soon be my furniture too, and everyone seemed to get along so there will be no murders. Jenna and I did nothing much in Chicago except wander around, though she did get to see the zoo while I was in class. On Tuesday night it rained and we didn't go to the bars after all, instead we tried to play a two-person drinking game but without Ben to consult with, I couldn't come up with anything fun. I'm justifying all of this as "bonding," because I've never spent this long with Jenna before and because that will distract people from my failings as a host.
Now I'm on the other side of all that, and several dumptrucks full of minutiae that I didn't mention, and also I'm done, not just done but done-done because all the papers are in, though in hindsight I wish I'd finished them last week, early, but that's how it goes.
It doesn't give too much away, it isn't (very) boring or (very) predictable, it's just, well, I can write an interesting summary of an entire week but I find the thought of detailing my movements over the past seven days distasteful.
So here are the five most important things about the past week, in no particular order:
1. Megabus is great. If you're using Greyhound to go between major cities, stop. I've tried that, and it sucks. Some of the people who ride Megabus are less great. They travel with babies too young to sleep through the night, they fall asleep with their headphones blaring, and one guy made a cell phone call from the stall in the bathroom when we stopped. You'll find these people on the Greyhound too, I assure you. Meanwhile, Jenna and I felt bad for whispering when people were trying to sleep. This proves my theory that most Chicagoans are only as nice as they have to be.
2. Though it meant missing our program's booze cruise, I feel like going home for the grad party was a good decision. There was cake, and a keg of delicious 1919 rootbeer. I even played some bocce ball.
3. More importantly, there were a bunch of people I see only very rarely these days. I haven't talked to my old German teacher and debate coach Herr P in years — Josh and his friends seem to have some other nickname for him, but whatever it is it's super-lame — and I felt like I needed to check in with some members of Adam's family about this wedding thing. Also, I usually only see my godchild (I know! An atheist with a godchild — it hadn't hit me before!) and my other favorite cousin on holidays, so I spent a fair amount of time talking to that family.
4. Matt's g/f Kittel drove me back to the Cities, and we had what shall henceforth be referred to as the Long Conversation. Shattering our previous one-on-one conversation record by three hours.
5. I visited Jenna, then Jenna visited me. We moved some curbside furniture into Markie and Jenna's apartment, which was exciting because it might soon be my furniture too, and everyone seemed to get along so there will be no murders. Jenna and I did nothing much in Chicago except wander around, though she did get to see the zoo while I was in class. On Tuesday night it rained and we didn't go to the bars after all, instead we tried to play a two-person drinking game but without Ben to consult with, I couldn't come up with anything fun. I'm justifying all of this as "bonding," because I've never spent this long with Jenna before and because that will distract people from my failings as a host.
Now I'm on the other side of all that, and several dumptrucks full of minutiae that I didn't mention, and also I'm done, not just done but done-done because all the papers are in, though in hindsight I wish I'd finished them last week, early, but that's how it goes.
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