Jubb has agreed to give me partial credit for the idea.
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Here are my ladies, good beers all.
I thought I'd only had three beers all night, but in actuality I had five, a cavalcade of different beer styles. I started with a Reissdorf kölsch, my pre-party beer, then had a Hacker-Pschorr dunkelweizen, then a Hoegaarden witbier I traded with Jubb for and mixed with Cola because it's delicious, a Köstritzer schwarzbier from my own six-pack, and finally one of Zack's Theakston Old Peculier old ales.
Only the last beer was a disappointment.
This was probably one of the most expensive parties we've had all year. Combined, the guests spent easily $100 on good beer. And amazingly, there's leftover beer.
So obviously I'm satisfied. I wish I could have gotten through my six-pack, of course — I have two mystery beers left — but I am what I am.