Character Sketch: Roy the Effeminate Heterosexual

So it looks like I'm about to disqualify myself from public office. Meh. Well, enjoy:

Roy is gay. Really really gay. Will and Grace gay.

I'm not about to take Gender Studies (it seems like all the Studies—Gender, Ethnic, Environmental, American, et cetera—are (irretrievably?) political and biased, anyways) but I have read a bit about the "issue", the search for biological and psychological correlations (studies are inconclusive and often contradictory) and all that. And I still don't quite know what to make of this school's Standard-Issue Stereotypical Gay Guy.

My enlightened Liberal Arts College Mind can't handle the existence of someone who confirms most of the stereotypes gay rights activists seem to be trying to overcome; the imaginary flirtatious gay guy, obsessed with fashion, calling everyone "honey" and "baby" and snapping his finger occasionally for emphasis, laughing at everything, giving girls sexual/romantic advice and having loud crushes on unattainable straight men… well, he can't exist.

And of course he does. Of course, Roy isn't just a stereotype—classifying people into types is a dangerous trap (with a nod to Henry James for that bit of wisdom)—he just happens to embody, at least superficially, many of the "things" I'm not sure I'm allowed to associate with homosexuality.

(It was bad enough in high school, watching certain members of my cool brother's class turn from sensitive guys into the kind of people who just—somehow—look gay. How you can look "like you want to have sex with men", I have no idea, but of course they, and others, have accomplished that feat.)

And now this, this further paradigm shock. Oh yes, and Roy is Korean, which just causes more preconceptual problems. Thanks Jenna, for constantly generalizing about everything, including your race. You've put me in a bind, as I find all my preconceptions confirmed. I can be politically correct, but not if I have to be blind and deaf. Sigh…

Sorry about the parenthetical comments and scare quotes… I just finished a moderately kicking essay for Prof Fritzell, who takes every term, and every scare quote, very seriously. Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to see irony everywhere. Fun, probably.

Back to The Effeminate Heterosexual.

Roy is, to his credit, an interesting and intelligent person. He's an English major. His writing is pretty complex, his predilection for describing the sensual and oversexed side of everthing notwithstanding. Pshaw: "notwithstanding" nothing, his writing is better for it. He has amazing insight into characters and, I assume, people.

Everyone knows (a? ah! the problems!) Roy.

He's outspoken and disgustingly extroverted.

He's friendly and amusingly opinionated.

He's always in the bathroom. Always.

Always.