Canned Blog Title #54: "Lame Postmodern"

I don't like sitting around. Yes, I'm inexplicably lazy, that goes without saying, but actually sitting around with no entertainment and nothing to do is boring. Watching reruns of Just Shoot Me, for example, frustrates me. I sit there, I watch bad episode of a bad show all over again, like some sad little narrative voice from The Onion… and when I don't stop, I get really frustrated with myself.

I realize that this is all incredibly obvious: things that you don't enjoy are boring, but I just wanted to point out the very important difference between productive boredom and nonproductive boredom. If I'm not entertained, I'd better be getting something done.

That boredom is, in a way, satisfying. Nonproductive boredom is an abomination, and, really, there's no reason for it to exist: doing something productive that you don't enjoy is leagues better than doing nothing and being bored.

Anyways, so yesterday we went over my story in Prof Dintenfass' Fiction Writing class. I wasn't allowed to speak while they discussed my story, so for an hour I listened to everyone's frustrations and complaints.

It was probably the most useful hour I've ever spent at Lawrence; even the people I'd dismissed as mooks had good things to say.

Roy the Effeminate Heterosexual, for one, had good things to say, but like some others (products of the English department, I'm afraid) he spent a lot of time justifying and praising all my choices instead of acknowledging them as mistakes.

I preferred the just criticism of The Postmodernist (eternally in black) and The Staggering Genius (confident and chic), and, of course, Prof Dintenfass. The ending frustrated those critics even more than the title. (Incidently, only Prof Dintenfass got the jokes). We had a long talk about building reader expectations and I rushed back to the room, giddy and wise.

Miss Bates wrote a great story for tomorrow, a postfeminist take on Canned Short Story Theme #45 (also known as "The Forgetting Story", or, if you're Elizabeth Graver, "The Mourning Door"): character tries to get over something but will never really forget it.

The theme: abortion. And it's done well. No, really, it is.

Our latest optional assignment is Canned Short Story Theme #73 (also known as "The Treasure Story"): character gets what s/he always wanted, only to discover that it isn't like what s/he expected it to be.

Back in the real world, it looks like Luke, The Politician, Jonas and I will be bowling on Fridays. We got the girls of O-Town to sign up too; it should be fun. Soon everyone will know how I bowl, if not why.

I'm also thinking about playing some U-Frisbee tomorrow… I don't see Al anymore, what with my artsy misanthropy and all, and that would provide an excellent oppurtunity. Also, I need exercise, and bowling will never and can never be considered atheletic. Ugh, I'm rotting here.

The Poltician is one for long discussions, and lately, among other things, we've been talking about foreign study. The Politician seems set on it and I have to admit that it would be nice to go to London or Germany. I want to go to Germany, and I want to go next summer/fall, so I'm going to look into that. Or London. I don't know, but something.

I've been having some quality conversations lately. Jenna is always interesting to IM, and some Lawrentians have surprised me.

Tonight at dinner I found myself listening to the LUCC President pontificate about the New English Prof vs Old English Prof divide. I got sucked in, and learned of the horrible antigonism between the two parties (represented by Prof Spurgin and Prof Goldgar, respectively).

Later, tonight, working with the head of the writing lab, I heard the opposite perspective. I have to agree with her: the whole argument is stupid, and Prof Bloom's discussions would be just as effective as Prof Goldgar's lectures, if she was as amazingly old as he is. As long as the university isn't doing away with lecturers, I'll live.

I also brought up the overabundance of apologies on this campus, and learned a little about last year's controversial (for some reason) "Better Than HItler" campaign posters and a lot about the weird little guy who protested them.

O.k, that's quiet enough. Night.